Thousands of things

I made some promises to myself at the beginning of the year. Not really resolutions, but ideas that I want to pursue and to which I hope to stay true. Many people keep track of these habits or schedules in a bullet journal, but (being a maker of journals) I created my own version of a year-long checklist in tiny book form.

January 5 – so far, so good. Yay me!!!

Included in this very short list is blog weekly – which may be just a little last-minute micro-burst of words on social media. But for the most part, I hope they are right here. Tuesday is my target.

Tuesday, January 5 – so far, so good.

About that. When I sit in my lovely writing studio, I am seldom at a loss for words. Not that I don’t look at the blank page with dread and useless fingers, because that is true for every writer. In fact, there are altogether too many times I do feel uninspired or unable to unscramble my thoughts and sit in frustration, finding a million things to do instead of persevere.

(Forgive a side note here, but that’s the beauty of writing – even for those who “hate to write.” I think you’d be amazed … the simple act of writing something down, whether in a journal, the back of an old envelope, a laptop, or even a letter to a trusted friend, will help you straighten out what seemed hopelessly tangled in your heart or mind. As the words appear on the page or screen, your shoulders drop, you breathe more deeply, and your inner Genius and Creative take over. It’s remarkable. You really should try it.)

Today, however, is a writing day like no other. In fact, it is totally different. Today, Tuesday, January 5 – the first writing-for-you-and-us day of the new year – I have a thousand things I want to say …

… about you and me and us.
… about what is happening all around us.
… about the people I know and don’t know who are suffering.
… about how confused and bewildered I am about things I thought I knew.
… about how confused and heartbroken I am about people I thought I knew.
… about my doubts … and fears.
… about inequalities, racism, food insecurity, and homelessness, the sojourners, the disenfranchised, the widowed, orphaned, and forgotten.
… about political rhetoric, verbal attacks, and threats.

I want to ask questions like:

• Why do some people simply close their minds about issues that once upon a time we considered with animated and strong – but always loving and respectful – conversation?

• Why do my solutions to problems deep and wide stir up such anger, even to violence, in others?

• Is there truly only one way to approach the world? (Please do not misunderstand. I am not talking about faith or sacred beliefs here. I am talking about how we help mend the wounds of the broken and broken-hearted in ways that bring hope and healing to the marginalized.)

• And could some of my life-long and dearly-held beliefs be skewed, incomplete, or even dead wrong?

I want to talk about all of it and yet I am reluctant to share the deepest of what troubles me. I’m not sure why, nor do I need an answer right now.

Not right now. We’ve got plenty of time to ponder, discuss, and conclude, God willing.

No, not right now, because today, my lovelies, I am here with a much simpler message:

“Let’s start the new year with gusto … and endless, selfless love.”

NancyBurtonWolfe

So until we write and read again, I pray for you