When Ana was born, I didn’t get to hold or feed her right away, and I don’t remember what all happened that early morning. Still, I felt that inexplicable love only moms know.
But when Asher, my grandson, was born, my knees buckled. The first time I saw and held him… Well, good golly, Miss Molly, I still can’t explain it.
I felt exactly the same way with Audrey, seven years ago today. That “Always-Forever-Grandma-Love” I still can’t explain.
It’s never gone away. It’s never diminished. And at every milestone of their lives, I can feel it well up from down deep and wash over me. It’s something only grandmoms know.
Both Asher and Audrey love Jesus. I know because they have told me they do.
And over time, both of them will be making more and more choices on their own. They will make a lot of good choices and some not so good because of and in spite of what they are learning about Jesus and the world. But whatever those choices may be, Always-Forever-Grandma-Love will prevail.
So, ask me the next question.
I will tell you right now, without hesitation, without apology or caveats. I will tell you today what I would have told you the minute they were born or what I’d tell you tomorrow or 20 years from now.
If either or both of my sweet grandchildren – or any of my sweet step-grandchildren – came to me and whispered or shouted, “I’m gay,” I would Always-Forever-Grandma-Love them.
And if they told me “we want to get married,” I would Always-Forever-Grandma-Love them. Always. Forever.
What we would do from there is like anything thing else. Just like if they told me they wanted to be a hula dancer, a missionary in Africa, a teacher in the projects, or a Hollywood stuntman.
Would we have ourselves some serious conversations. Would I worry about them every minute?
Yes. Yes, I would.
But then again, we’ll have conversations about everything, won’t we? And wouldn’t I worry about them every minute if they were missionaries to China or American Idol finalists or sous chefs in Bobby Flay’s kitchen? Or if they were electricians or artists? Or wanted to be single forever? Or thought fostering troubled and forgotten teenagers was right where they belonged?
Of course. Yes, of course we would talk and I would worry. And you would and will too.
So, you may wonder why, given the fact that I run like the wind from even the hint of controversy, I’ve chosen to write this far – we are talking miles – out of my disclosure zone. Why am I drawing my line in the sand about this particular issue?
- Ya gotta start somewhere. (I wrote a little about this…)
- I want there to be absolutely no question or hesitation. I don’t ever, ever – E.V.E.R – want Asher or Audrey to live even the briefest moment of their lives believing that anything they do or feel will make me love them any less.
It’s more important to me than almost anything outside of their personal faith in Jesus. They need to know this deep down to the very core of who they are and who I am: Always-Forever-Grandma-Love will never, ever – E.V.E.R. – run out, no matter what.
We live in a big, relentless, cocky, and often bigoted world that tries to smother us with its categories and groups. It pushes us into places where we don’t fit. We are identified with those who bear little resemblance to the real us or what we believe. Christians are evangelicals are fundamentalists, liberals are pro-this and conservatives anti-that. It doesn’t matter into which group you fall – there’s always an “us” and a “them.” Honestly, I don’t even know where lines are drawn or where definitions come from or how they are applied.
But, my lovelies, when it comes to being the Grandma, I do know what my job is – what it’s always been: love them like a grandma. Be honest? Yes. Challenge and encourage? Yes. Ask hard questions? Yes.
But first, Always-Forever-Grandma-Love.
And they will know I follow Jesus by my love – not by how I interpret this verse or that parable, or how much I know of the Old or New Testament, or even what I choose to fight for or against in this wild and confusing world.
They will always and forever know by my Always-Forever-Grandma-Love.