How living center all began

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“Sometimes I believe that I can do anything…

Yet other times I think I’ve got nothing good to bring.”

Those lines are the third verse of Francesca Battistelli’s “Free to be Me.”  The first time I heard it, I secretly claimed the lyrics as mine. Because, as I experience the world in my skin, with my gifts and goofs, and my unique brand of “I’ve found my calling” mixed with “what was I thinking?” I realize that I am living out the counterpoint she describes.

Yes. Sometimes, I do believe that I may simply tip over – leaning so far toward “I can do this” that it’s almost impossible to contain my enthusiasm, confidence and energy. Which may be followed closely by a serious dose of “Good grief, Nancy, you are SOOOOO far over your head.” And sometimes those aren’t just good days and bad days, or weeks, or months.

No, these east vs. west states of mind have given me the emotional version of whiplash. In a matter of moments, I might go from feeling so filled with joy that I’m certain I will explode… to feeling so broken that I fear I may just crumble away.

So, for a long time, my life word has been “balance.” I continually pray that I may thankfully and graciously embrace my true abilities and gifts and talents… as well as admit that I am the work in progress God continues to mold.

And, I pray that I will keep my levels of competence and confidence as balanced as possible. I picture that little yellow plastic scale we used in school to practice weight equivalencies, carefully placing tiny brass weights on each side until the pointer is perfectly vertical. We celebrated the balance. And when precious artwork is hung, we painstakingly check to make sure that neither the left nor the right side is too high. We stand back and admire the view when that little bubble in the level is dead center.

Now, I can’t find where or why “dead” became known as a synonym for “utterly” or “absolutely.” But it did. And I’m a bit put off that we continue to use “dead center” to mean perfectly centered, or in the middle, or balanced.  No, the center, the place where the scale comes to a stop and the bubble finds a home, that place of rest is certainly not dead.

And in life, it’s an oasis of peace where we can sense God’s blessing. It is not dead.  I believe it is true living.

It is the living center.

About Nancy Burton Wolfe

I love to write. I love the process - brainstorming, drafting, editing, revising, publishing. I love it all. And, over the past few years, I've found not only satisfaction with writing, but success as well. After retiring from a career in education, I found God calling me to use this gift to help provide for my family while I help further the Kingdom. Other than being with my family, there are few things I would rather do than create beauty with words - or read other beautiful writing. I'm a Believer, a wife, a mom, stepmom & grandmom and a writer.

6 responses »

  1. What a nice first post. I certainly relate to the feeling you express so well about getting emotional whiplash swinging from doubt to confidence. Maybe we all do, and just think everyone else has it all together. Looking forward to future posts!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much, Becca, for commenting and encouraging me to continue… I am excited about this new adventure and so pleased you could be there when it began. My response to you is not very timely, but completely heartfelt… Thanks again, xoxox

      Like

  2. Such a beautiful reflection, Nancy! I think many of us struggle with emotional whiplash. The voices that tell us we’re doing great are the same ones that ask us what we were thinking. But I also think that is the sign of a reflective person…and great thinker! I enjoyed your post and am looking forward to reading more! Congratulations on taking the first step of your blogging journey.

    ~Jennifer

    Liked by 1 person

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