I wonder as I wander out under the sky
how Jesus, the Savior, did come for to die
for poor on’ry people, like you and like I.
I wonder as I wander out under the sky.
As I read these lyrics, I feel a familiar tightness in my throat and tears on the brink. I am overwhelmed, and my soul is refreshed by the promises of God in Jesus. My arms go limp, head back and eyes closed, absorbing every delicious bit of what I will never understand. What will remain mysteries until, well, maybe, until forever.
But the questions we ponder…
- why does He love me so much?
- why did He choose such a mundane entrance into the world?
- why was I born into a world that was open to Him and His love – instead of one where He’s cursed and maligned, hated, rejected?
- why…..?
… are not research projects. We do not dig and search for answers to satisfy our academic sensibilities.
No, these questions are just a way of bathing in that mystery and the luxury of wonder. Oh, good golly, Miss Molly.
wonder – /ˈwəndər/
noun – a feeling of surprise mingled with admiration, caused by something beautiful, unexpected, unfamiliar, inexplicable
verb – desire or be curious to know something; to feel some doubt or curiosity (how, whether, why, etc.); to be desirous to know or learn; feel admiration and amazement(from the Oxford English Dictionary)
Unfortunately, my lovelies, this is where we begin to go off the rails.
We are caught up with being certain. Being right. We want to have a game plan. And all the answers. And right now.
It’s not that we’re not open to surprises or wonder-ful moments, like a little heart flutter or gasp or the right combination of our favorite six numbers.
But when it comes to faith, well, some of us have gotten a bit stiff. We’ve lost sight of the wild abandon of God’s love and how He shows it. We’re comfortable on our straight and narrow path to eternity and are quite sure the one we’re on is the only one. We like feeling right and righteously just a bit smug.
And I’m sorry to say, despite the “God can handle the hard questions” we have heard forEVER, it seems like no one wants to ask them, or hear them, or consider them. No one wants to rock the boat now that we – at long last – have all the answers. (Snark intended.)
Yes, we have finally figured it out. We understand God, Scripture, the future, and faith in general and find few reasons to investigate further.
And that, my friends, is a sad and pitiful condition. Safe instead of vulnerable. “The Bible says…” instead of “gosh, I don’t know.” Confidence instead of humility.
Certainty instead of wonder.
What a loss for us. What a waste of God’s omniscience (all-knowing), omnipotence (all-powerful), and omnibenevolence (supremely good). We have shrunk Him down to fit into what we know instead of all that He is and can do.
Please do not misunderstand. Not everyone that taught me what I know and believe is just wrong. I’m just hoping that we all take a little chance, put on those 3D glasses, rethink our absolutes, tear down the walls, throw open the drapes, and start asking the questions. Remember? God CAN answer the hard questions. And He will – if He wants us to know.
And if He doesn’t, well, I’ll still find glory in the wonder and in the not knowing.
(And, for those who are now really worried about me, I believe that boldly sharing my story of faith is not a sign of cockiness or certainty, but of hope and thanksgiving. It is a message of love that brings joy to the Father. And it is to be shared, not dictated or legislated.)
Think of what freedom we can find in WONDER. What a gift if we celebrate awe, not answers. If we are curious, have doubt, want to learn. If we keep our minds – and hearts – open.
I’ve been a rule follower (not always a keeper, sorry to say) all my life. Not always good, but always keenly aware of the straight lines I’m to walk between. Lines that have been accepted for generations and decades. Lines that have, in many ways, lead us religiously through hollow and tasteless mazes of certainty.
Certainty. A state of mind that is about the most dangerous place to find a person of faith. I would much rather be found in the raucous world of wonder, where I have no fear of doubt and find peace in unanswered questions. Where I wonder as I wander.
Isn’t this a glorious and wondrous season? We uplift the story of an unmarried girl carrying God’s son, a humble birth, lowly shepherds on bended knee at the make-shift cradle of a refugee king, and wise men who knew better than to obey a ruthless ruler. Wonder upon wonder.
Let’s save the certainty for solving crossword puzzles and train schedules, shall we? During these hectic holidays, I pray for you the blessing of wonder.
And until next Monday, I wish for you
Nancy Burton Wolfe 